“Ask a Priest: Do I Sin Gravely If I Don’t Correct My Parents?”

Q: When does a failure to complete a fraternal correction become a mortal sin of omission? I struggle with this and become anxious about telling people their sin as I find it awkward to do. For example, my parents aren’t the most religious, and they sin by eating before Mass. This is a grave matter as it violates the Eucharistic fast. I chose not to correct them in this situation because I just felt awkward about it and was scared about doing so. I know many would say that I’m not obligated to fraternally correct as I’m not their authority, but I feel like by not correcting them, I’m letting a bad sin happen. Also, sometimes they do listen to me, and I feel like I could spark them to take more care and interest in the faith and the gravity of the Eucharist. Would my omission of not correcting them be a mortal sin in this situation, or does my anxiety about the situation reduce my culpability? – H.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: It’s not up to Ask a Priest to say what is and isn’t a mortal sin in a particular case. God alone knows the heart and mind of each person.

This applies to people who don’t speak up when they think others are sinning. It also applies to people who don’t observe the hourlong fast before receiving Communion at Mass.

That said, you obviously are concerned about your parents’ spiritual well-being, and that is admirable. That you are troubled by keeping quiet at times might be a sign that the Holy Spirit is nudging you to look for ways to help your parents.

Fraternal correction can be a great form of charity if done well. You say that sometimes your parents do listen to you; that is a good sign, and that means you can have a positive influence on them.

A few suggestions might help.

First, intensify your prayers and your sacrifices for your parents. Offer up things for their deep conversion. Pray that they get to confession, too. They might be dealing with issues than just than just missing the fast before communion.

Second, look for ways to gently bring up topics. You might mention, for instance, that you will try to finish breakfast well before the hour fast. Your parents might get the hint.

Third, start reading books that explain the Catholic faith — and leave them in open view around the house. You might find a good reading list at https://www.catholic.com/magazine/online-edition/the-ultimate-apologists-reading-list

Fourth, try to be the best Catholic you can be. Be respectful toward your parents. Help around the house. Be charitable to your companions. And stay close to the Blessed Virgin Mary through the rosary.

Fifth, see if you can get your parents involved in some kind of volunteer work at church. They might help to awaken their faith.

I hope some of this helps. Count on my prayers.

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