“Ask a Priest: What If My Sister Says She’s Pro-Choice?”

Q: I am my sister’s confirmation sponsor and she was confirmed last year. She is only 16 and is beginning to have her own thoughts and beliefs on certain things. I just had a conversation with her where she briefly mentioned something about being pro-choice. This was alarming to me, but I did not say anything in fear of offending her or making her upset as she was talking poorly about pro-lifers. As someone who is supposed to be a religious leader in her life, how should I handle this situation? I am very scared to upset her in speaking of the wrongs of supporting abortion or “choice.” I am very scared this could ruin our relationship as she is not only my sister but one of my best friends. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. – K.S.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: Loving someone means helping her to grow closer to Jesus. One of the best things you could do now would be to help your sister re-examine her views and to help her understand the value of defending human life.

It might be good to do a bit of research right now, and learn in-depth why defense of human life is so important and how it can be presented to others.

Some resources at Life Teen that might help are “How to Be Pro-life“; pro-life resources; and “Teaching for a Pro-life Generation.”

Also helpful might be the book Unplanned and the movie adaptation. Another helpful book might be Persuasive Pro-Life.

When you have done a bit of research, you might look for an opportunity to sit down with your sister and see why she believes what she believes.

You might look for opportunities to get her involved in pro-life work, such as helping at a pro-life crisis pregnancy center. If she is really “pro-choice,” she might be open to helping women who choose to keep their babies.

Above all, you might want to intensify your prayers and sacrifices for your sister. And don’t worry about ruining your relationship with her. The bigger danger would be to not say anything and watch her harden in her pro-abortion views.

For now, don’t get discouraged if you don’t see immediate results. Just keep trying to be a loving sister to her. That will help open her heart to the beauty of the pro-life message.

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