“Ask a Priest: What If There Are Tensions With a New Pastor?”

Q: I help lead a parish choir, and we are struggling to communicate with a new pastor. Our choir is not yet established properly, but we are trying our best. Our parish priest limited us to use only traditional hymns, which we aren’t familiar with yet. Father has limited our rehearsals, explaining that it is intrusion into his private time. Also, he sometimes communicates with women in an unacceptable way (it might be a cultural difference). We are trying to work with him, but he doesn’t seem open to compromise. – M.B.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: Since I don’t know the priest’s point of view, I try to keep the advice general.

First, division in a parish can be an opportunity. It can be a chance for everyone to grow in humility and patience.

The devil would love to cause division in the parish. The parish is there to bring people closer to Jesus, so it is worth the effort to find a solution.

You and/or another parishioner might consider approaching the priest privately and explain the difficulties you see.

You might propose a period of transition for the choir. That is, ask that the choir be allowed to use its current hymns, but set a deadline for the introduction of the traditional hymns favored by the priest.

If he is having trouble dealing with women, it might be good for two of the mature women in the parish to approach him and speak with him. It is understandable that there are problems if he comes from another culture.

In the meantime, it would be good to intensify your prayer for the priest and the parish.

As I say, this situation could be an opportunity for growth in humility and patience — for everyone involved.

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